Affairs

Part 1: Losing it all 

I will never forget the Sunday morning when a good friend of mine approached me after the sermon.  “An old flame from high school has found me on Facebook. What do you think I should do about it?” I pastorally told my friend who had been married for decades and was even a grandfather, “You better extinguish this old flame.” Sadly, my friend did not listen, and it was not long before he lost everything.

There is another man in the scriptures who lost everything in a moment of weakness. Esau and Jacob were twin brothers. Esau was the firstborn, therefore the birthright belonged to him. Like most siblings, they were as different as day and night. Esau was a hunter, and Jacob was a chef. According to Genesis 25, Esau came in from the fields from hunting and was exhausted and famished. Jacob had been cooking a stew. When Esau pleaded for a bowl, Jacob convinced him to sell him his birthright in exchange for it.

Esau was willing to trade his entire future in one moment of weakness. Are we any different? If you are someone who is contemplating an affair, are you willing to trade everything for one bowl of stew? In other words, are you willing to forfeit your marriage, your character and integrity, your children’s admiration and respect, and most of all, God’s blessings for one temporary bowl of stew?

I’ve met many people who are willing to make the trade, but the question is are you? Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it well. “Temptation does not make you hostile toward God. Temptation makes you forget Him.” Perhaps the Holy Spirit wants you to read this to awaken your spiritual senses and quickly come to the realization that you are about to trade your future for one temporary bowl of stew. May God forbid!

Part 2: Playing with fire

My first counseling session of the day was at 10:00 AM. The young father of four sat nervously in my office. Before I walked in, I prayed that God would give me every word to say to him. I offered him some coffee and tried to put him at ease, because I know how difficult it was for him to come see me, especially since we had never met. A sexual affair had ripped his marriage apart.

On the surface, I sensed conviction from him, and it appeared he wanted to be right with God. However, when I pressed the issue of ending it with the other woman, he refused. “What are you thinking?” I objected. “Do you seriously think this is not going to destroy your family and future?” He assured me that he knew what he was doing, and that his kids would be fine.

It was cold and snowy on this particular day. There is no fireplace in my counseling office. So, I asked the young man what he thought about me building a fire in one of its corners. He said that would be a bad idea since the room was all sheetrock. “Yes, but I’m quite certain I can contain it.” I explained that no matter how much I wanted him to trust me, there would be no way I could contain a fire outside of a fireplace. It would be foolish to believe that the entire building would not burn to the ground.

Proverbs 6:27 says, “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?”

Perhaps you are playing with fire. It may be texting conversations that should not be happening. Perhaps it is lunches and side conversations at work that are beginning to cross the line, or perhaps you find yourself already in an affair. Do not be deceived. You cannot play with fire and not be burned. Walk away before it destroys your marriage, your children, and your future.